shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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