clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
50% drunk capacity currently
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
