He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
