I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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