I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
