quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
