were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
