i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
