She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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