idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
