i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
