I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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