Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
