Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
