she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
