I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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