I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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