Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
