oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
