just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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