Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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