She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
