Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
