Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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