I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
