So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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