I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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