Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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