What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
