sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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