honey bunches of taint.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
