so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
did you just send me my own nude
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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