Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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