My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
