So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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