that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize