matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
