She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
