I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
