her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You took a bar mat shot.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
