I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
