Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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