i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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