I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
