shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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