haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
