I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize