Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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