I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize