We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
