in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
