your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
