About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
