I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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