After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
