The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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