i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
