I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
