Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
