it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
