I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
