it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
