We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
