Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
