thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
