What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
