More tranny stories later!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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