Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize