You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
