By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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