so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
