Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
