I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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