I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
