I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize