SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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