No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize