My hand turned me down
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
