Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
