We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
