you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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